Memoirs of Middles💕 - Tape #42
Creases in your love
Happy ‘the day after women’s day’. Because I am a woman and love women, I treat IWD as a holiday and I need the day after to rest after the festivities. Good thing I’m actually off tomorrow so :). This year I didn’t write anything on IWD and in a few tapes, I will talk about why. However, in previous years, I have written two pieces that were heavily valued and widely published. I almost did not write last year tbh because I hated the theme, ‘break the bias’ but I did for this beautiful body of work, Today’s People, The Revolution. I will attach links to them and yes one of them is on my personal blog. I will return when I have the time, space, and money to travel some more because before I had this beautiful barrel of expression, I used to write my memoirs in my travel diaries.
How are we readers? I believe I wrote not too long ago. I am repenting in this foreign man’s land and I will not give any direct life updates now, I’m saving that for another tape so keep an eye on the inbox ;)
Since I became more human and less deity at the beginning of this year, I have experienced a lot of things which I have written to you about and when they amass to a particular number, I will make a tag out of them. So one of them I have sat with most recently is what I like to call creases in your love.
I have always held love as a concept very close to my heart. My understandings of it have morphed and evolved and yes there is a tape on that, I think I should tag it in here but one thing I have never seen love as ‘imperfect’. I still don’t but I have an understanding of what to call love when it rumples or when it folds.
So, being a big consumer of Hollywood I started with an initial view of love as a thing that is delicate and smooth. So I will admit that in time past, I have left love for rather seemingly small things. Granted, this decision was often amplified by the desire to not be taken for granted but truly, I could have stayed a little longer. I spoke with the fan favorites Jojo recently and she said something that has been ringing in my head. She says a lot of things that ring tbh but this one; “I hope we meet each other again and have the chance to fall in love when we’re older and wiser”
I’ve never feared growing older and the fact that it comes with wisdom to understand things easier is a plus. As a late bloomer, the bonus is the reverse. It is by getting older, I can hold things better.
I lived with a couple for a month and being the wallflower I am, unintentionally I observed them. I’ve never been great at conflict in love but with them I learned that in love, we sit with even discomfort. Rudy Francisco once said that “true love is like a model before she is airbrushed”, wonderful.
On this, I have added different scenarios to my definition of love. Love is babysitting my nephew when he’s taking the piss, love is eating my cousins rice noodles even if it always sucks when she makes it, love is letting me watch one direction on my brother in law’s work YouTube account, love is him taking time off to drive me to my new apartment, love is refilling the apple juice cabinet even though I’m the one who doesn’t earn money but always finishes it, love is giving me your atm card because I’m sorting my bank issues and return to using cash in almost cashless society, love is doing my laundry because I’ve been having stupid crazy classes, love is me taking my nephew because his mum needs to sleep but he’s about to have a crying concert, love is sitting with a 9 month old in a car for 2 hours looking for ways to entertain him. Love is, wearing that shirt with all the creases in it and hey, sometimes love is letting them go.
I read this a while back on a friends status and I want to weave it into this.
Because yes love is asking someone to let you add color to their lives but it is also asking them to join your shoulders in burden carrying. I finished superstore yesterday and this just echoed. I’ve been into seeing more sitcoms where there is no aspire to maguire. Everyone is just a plain-out loser. I want to stop being annoyed with people and myself when our quirks show. It’s one of my worst traits about myself. Superstore helped me learn that lesson more. The characters are disgustingly human and they never really confess love. They actually just love each other when it matters. Amy is annoying as shit and Jonah is too. Dina is hell, Glenn is insane, Garrett is skin-piercing but there is so much love for and around them. It’s remarkable to be to observe. Now I’ve learned and imbibed this concept of creases in love, it makes so much sense why I don’t know how to or like ironing.